A cat in the window

I'm moving to Seattle in September. People always ask me, "Why Seattle?" or "Why are you moving?" and I never really know what to tell them except, "Because I want to, fool."

The other day, I was sitting in my mom's living room, and her cat was sitting in the window. Every cat I've ever known, and I've known plenty, has enjoyed doing this. I've owned cats my entire life, rarely going more than two years without one. Every time I watch one of my cats, I think about what a great life that cat has. Every time I begrudgingly walk out the door to work, I look at my cats and scoff at their easy lives. They get fed daily, they do what they want, they're protected within these four walls, and they have no responsibility. I always think, "WHY can't I be a cat?!"

It's always when I see a cat sitting in the window, watching the happenings of the outside world that I feel sad for them. I no longer envy them, but pity them. That day, my mom turned to her cat (because we all talk to our cats, so let's not kid ourselves) and said, "What are you watching out there?" and I answered, "Life," without thinking much about it. It wasn't until the minutes that followed that I did take a moment to think about what that meant. The thought that plagues me the most is that an indoor domestic cat, at least mine, have never felt wind. I'm not particularly fond of wind, but if I had never felt it on my skin, if all I had ever felt was this constant, indoor air, I would've clawed myself out of this skin by now.

Ultimately, at the end of my pondering, the result was the choice, cat or life? Sure, being a cat is easy, but you're left sitting in that window, watching life go by. You're never able to chase what you so desperately want just on the other side of that glass. We've all seen a cat chase a bug on the other side of the window, and most people laugh at this, but it breaks my heart, watching this animal that, through no fault of its own, is a cat and can't go beyond that barrier.

Yes, being a human being, in most cases, is harder. It comes with more responsibilities, and struggles, and pain, and heartache, but ultimately, it's the trade off for being able to open that door. It's the trade off for being able to live a full life. Cat owners buy their cats catnip, toys, scratching posts, etc. to subconsciously try to provide them the full lives we know they're not living.

I could certainly stay in Tennessee, where I have been my whole life. I could do well in Tennessee and eat and breathe and exist in Tennessee, but Tennessee is my house, and I'm merely a cat in that house. I long to chase the things I see outside. I long to feel the wind on my face. And that is why I'm moving to Seattle.